


Stamp of Approval

by aSofterPunk



Series: Punk AU [4]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Coming Out, Hurt/Comfort, Punk AU, Sexuality Crisis, past acephobia, past bullying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-21 11:23:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17042816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aSofterPunk/pseuds/aSofterPunk
Summary: Roman identifies as Demi-sexual now- but he didn’t always.(Or: Roman Has The Most Extra Identity Crisis Ever Because Of Course He Does.)(Or: Goddamnit Logan, you sexy, sexy nerd.)





	Stamp of Approval

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of the Punk AU- find more at asofterfan.tumblr.com <3

When his alarm clock started blaring, Roman groaned dramatically, despite the fact that he was already awake. 

He didn’t _mean_ to pull another all-nighter, but this play wasn’t just going to write itself! And he had to make sure it was _perfect_ before the end of May so he could pitch it to the head of the theater department to be performed next year. He was determined to have his own work produced before he graduated. Imagine how it would look on his college applications!

Besides, who _wouldn’t_ want a Hamilton-style musical about Leonardo Da Vinci?

Shaking his head, Roman realized his alarm was still buzzing. Standing and stretching, he finally turned it off, sighing at the thought of having to trudge through school. Still, he never dreaded it the way he used to.

Even three months later, Roman still found himself frequently reflecting on how thankful he was for his family’s move here. His parents had always hated their old town- too conservative for them- but Dot had been reluctant to move too far from her father as his health always seemed to be wavering. Roman understood, but at the same time….

He was glad to get a fresh start.

Roman couldn’t help but smile as he sat at the vanity his dad had helped him build the summer before, with extra shelves and storage around an old mirror with an ornate bronze frame. No matter how exhausted he was, Roman would never skip his makeup routine. There was something soothing about carefully applying foundation and concealer over under eye circles and acne scars and faint freckles; There was something exciting about deciding what shade of eyeshadow to wear for the day; There was something satisfying about applying liquid eyeliner with a perfectly steady hand.

On his first day at his new school, Roman had braced himself for comments on his makeup. He almost didn’t wear any, but he had been determined to stand up for himself this time. It had been a struggle to conceal his shock when the only comment he got was from a girl in his algebra class asking what brand of eyeliner he used. Even that weird snake kid who liked fucking with people didn’t make comments about Roman being a _guy_ wearing makeup. He only snarked that his _own_ makeup was better (and it usually was and Roman hated him for it). There were still bullies, but the administration actually did a decent job of cracking down on it. The students were more open minded, the school had a winder range of clubs for LGBTQ+ students, the city itself was more diverse and accepting. For the first time, Roman could be flamboyant and over the top without being attacked for it. For the first time, he didn’t have to turn into a dictionary when he told someone he’s asexual. For the first time, no one used that information against him.

“Roman! Do you want a ride to school?”

Startled from his thoughts, Roman called back to his mom, “No thanks, I’m gonna walk today!”

“Alright, have a good day, sweetie! Don’t forget your dad and I are working late tonight!”

“Okay! See you tomorrow!”

Moving faster now that he realized how late it was getting, Roman quickly got himself put together, layering his vest and jacket and putting on his numerous pieces of jewelry. Double checking to make sure his hair was exactly how he wanted it, he ran downstair to fill his thermos with the coffee his mom had left him, before heading out the door.

The coffee was almost gone by the time he reached the high school, and that combined with the brisk walk left him feeling more energized and awake than he had when he left his house. As usual, he saw that Patton was the first one there, his pink and blue curls popping out against the dark bricks he was leaning against.

As soon as he spotted Roman, Patton’s eyes lit up, “Roman!” he raced forward to throw his arms around the taller punk. Roman laughed, lifting Patton off the ground to spin him dramatically.

“Patton!! Oh how I’ve missed your pastel pallet!”

“I missed you too!”

“You saw each other _yesterday._ ”

Turning around, they saw that the last two of their group had arrived. Logan had an eyebrow raised at their antics, while Virgil smirked in amusement beside him. But Patton only squealed and ran to give Logan an equally enthusiastic hug. Logan grunted as he found his arms full of the curly-haired punk, “It has been less than twenty-four hours since we saw each other! This seems excessive!”

“I am ALWAYS happy to see you guys!” Patton insisted firmly as he laced his fingers with Virgil and started swinging their arms back and forth, “There’s no time limit on my love!!”

“Indeed! There is no such thing as excessive when it comes to matters of the heart, like love and friendship!” Roman declared, one hand on his chest as the other gestured dramatically in the air.

Logan rolled his eyes, but his lips quirked into a smile as he shook his head fondly, “Bullshit, you’re the _embodiment_ of excessive, Roman.”

Roman said no words, just let out a string of offended noises unique only to him as the others chuckled. Huffing, the steampunk crossed his arms, falling into step beside Virgil as they all headed into the building.

“Thank God it’s Friday,” the goth punk muttered.

Whenever he walked into the school, Roman was comforted by the knowledge that no one here knew him when he was a thin, gangly freshman, weak and afraid. Still, he took a deep breath, pulling his shoulders back and made sure he was standing at his full height. Regardless of the reputation he had built for himself here, he was determined not to give anyone any reason to think they could mess with him. Not again.

Walking through the halls, it never ceased to amaze him at how numerous their school’s punk population seemed to be. Along with himself and his three friends, there were several other groups of students with varying punk aesthetics. Roman loved it, getting to see so many different styles, and being able to stand out without being the odd one out.

Still, he never quite managed to relax.

Virgil split away from the group, nodding in farewell as he headed for his English class upstairs. Meanwhile the other three made their way to History, Patton and Roman exchanging fond glances as Logan mumbled about inaccuracies in the lesson plan.

As they sat down in the classroom, Roman felt exhaustion creeping up on him. Perhaps not sleeping on a school night wasn’t his _best_ idea. Not that that ever stopped him before.

Leaning on his hand against his desk, he felt his mind wander. Roman’s notebooks, decorated heavily with his own doodles and sketches on the covers, were a disaster. No matter how hard he tried to keep his notebooks organized, he was just too easily distracted; his chemistry notes bled into complex outfit designs and mural ideas. Glancing over at his two friends, he saw Patton pulling out his binder, colorful tabs sticking out and indicating which section was for which subject. Meanwhile, Logan had two notebooks in front of him, one labeled “Teacher’s Bullshit”, and the other labeled, “THE TRUTH”. Roman smiled as he thought of Virgil a few floors above them with his deceivingly plain black binder that was meticulously, almost obsessively, organized.

Roman couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have made such good friends so quickly. Despite his and Logan’s somewhat rocky start, part of him couldn’t help but love the drama of their meeting. After all, getting punched out by your future best friend made for a great story.

And the fact that that one act led to him making _three_ best friends. He and Patton had clicked instantly, and once he had earned Logan and Virgil’s trust, they made a wonderfully eclectic group that never ceased to make Roman’s heart flutter in a strange way. He had had friends at his old school- Dominic and Dahlia were amazing and he missed them dearly- but his new friends felt different. He couldn’t put his finger on it.

Before he knew it the bell was ringing, snapping Roman out of his thoughts as he realized that everyone was packing their things. Looking down he saw he had absentmindedly written down some of the bullet points from the lecture, but it was mostly outlines for future story ideas. Patton giggled at him, “Come on, hurry up, Space Ace!”

That was something else Roman appreciated. He never realized how different it was to have people joke _with_ him as opposed to laughing _at_ him. It brought that fluttery feeling back. Grinning, Roman shoved his materials into his backpack and jumped up to follow the other two. Logan would give him the notes he missed during lunch.

In fact, as soon as they left the classroom, Logan was already huffing out a lecture about all the inaccuracies that had been in the lesson.

The rest of the day passed in the same way- the four splitting up and coming together, always looking for each other in the crowds. Roman cycled between engaging with his friends and being lost in his thoughts and being abruptly jerked back into reality by the ever constant itch in his head telling him not to let his guard down. As soon as he remembered all the bodies around him, all the eyes watching, all the potential to lose what he’d gained, he would find himself hyper aware of everything that could go wrong.

_Keep your shoulders back, chest out, head high, neutral smirk, stand tall, you’re tall now, you can use that, you’re not a victim, you’re not a target anymore. Keep it that way. Remind them that you’re better than them, laugh loud, maintain eye contact. You’re not a target anymore._

It was exhausting. But it was worth it to not wake up filled with dread any more.

By the time the day was over, Roman was tired in more ways than one, and he was ready to forget about school. “Ah, Friday afternoon- a time filled with possibilities! Who’s up for a grand evening with no alarms set for the morning?”

Patton bounced on the balls of his feet, smiling apologetically, “Actually I can’t today. My mom has an audition! And she’s totally gonna get it and I can’t wait, but that means I have to go pick up Thomas from school today. I think he’s been kind of down lately so I wanna spend some one-on-one time with him tonight anyway.”

Logan nodded in understanding, “No worries. We get it,” he smirked fondly, “We’ll just harass you on SnapChat or something.”

“Um, actually,” Virgil spoke up, one hand in his pocket as the other tugged on his hood nervously, “I can’t come over today either.”

“What?” Logan’s eyes snapped to Virgil, brows furrowed, “Why? Do you have a meeting with Remy today?” His voice held a tinge of hopefulness, which was immediately dashed as Virgil shook his head.

“No. I have to go home. I, um, I’m supposed to have some chores done before the weekend. And my mom got, uh, really… upset, last time I missed family dinner night.”

“Aw, well, family time is important too,” Patton smiled, patting Virgil’s shoulder softly and missing the way Logan glared at him and clenched his fists at his sides.

Roman sighed dramatically and pouted, “Maaaaaaan, but I wanted to finally show you guys Gravity Falls! What am I supposed to do with the nerd all night? _Homework??_ ”

Logan rolled his eyes, “You wish,” he crossed his arms as his eyes narrowed defensively and he ground out, “and you don’t _have_ to come over if it’s so _unpleasant_ for you.”

Waving his arms, Roman quickly backtracked as he heard the undercurrent of hurt in Logan’s voice that he was getting better at recognizing, “Oh no, I’d never pass up an opportunity for passionate debates, My Chemical Education,” Logan snorted, but his lips quirked into a smile.

Tilting his head, Patton had a look of hesitant concern, “Now, you guys aren’t just going to spend the night arguing, are you?”

“Of course we are!” Roman grinned, “but that’s how we show affection!”

“If I don’t constantly correct him how will he know I care?” Logan deadpanned.

Patton giggled, shaking his head fondly, “Well, I still want to be harassed on SnapChat!”

“Same,” Virgil smirked. Realizing the time, Patton gave Roman and Logan a quick hug, waving cheerily at Virgil as he practically skipped away in the direction of the middle school. Virgil gave them a quick salute, heading off in the other direction after Logan made him promise to text him in the morning. And just like that, Roman and Logan were left alone as they began heading to Logan’s house.

Logan sighed, “You really don’t have to hang out if you don’t want. It’s okay.”

“But I DO want to!” Roman exclaimed. He hated that he made Logan feel this way, even if he was clearly trying to be subtle. Roman really _did_ enjoy spending time with the strange nerd-punk hybrid, “I rarely get to hang out with you without Virgil stealing your attention or Patton trying to get us to ‘tone it down’,” Logan snickered at Roman’s dramatic air quotes, “It’s not _my_ fault that my passion cannot be adequately expressed in my indoor voice!” That got a full bark of laughter from Logan, making Roman grin with success. “Besides, both of my parents work late tonight so hey, let’s be alone together!”

“A Fall Out Boy reference?” Logan raised an eyebrow as he smirked, “Virgil is starting to rub off on you.”

Roman shuddered exaggeratedly, “Oh God, if I ever come to school with black eyeshadow call together an intervention.”

“You have my word. We’ll tie you to a chair and everything.”

Soon they were turning into the walkway of Logan’s house. Roman looked up at the large two-story home, before dropping his gaze down to the empty driveway.

“Your dad working late again?”

“Yup,” Logan responded shortly, shoving his key in the front door. Just like every time one of them came over, they dropped their backpacks by the entry way as Logan reminded him, “You don’t have to take your shoes off or anything. Fuck this carpeting.”

Snorting, Roman followed the blue haired punk further into the home. They went straight to the kitchen, raiding the pantry for chips and grabbing some sodas from the fridge.

“Oh, since it’s just us, I’m totally making you watch Rick and Morty,” Logan declared with a smirk, “It’s absurd and extra, like you,” Roman sputtered indignantly as Logan continued, “but there’s also science stuff, so I dig it.”

“Ugh, science,” Roman groaned dramatically, “But I guess I can sit through an episode or two.”

“I think you’ll survive,” Logan rolled his eyes, throwing himself down onto the couch as he grabbed the remote and started scrolling through his TiVo. Roman sat next to him, tossing their snacks onto the coffee table and taking off his long coat, draping it over the back of the couch. As they fell into a comfortable silence, Roman found his eyes drifting to the side of Logan’s neck. Ever since they had met he would see just the edges of a tattoo peeking from the collar of Logan’s button up shirts. He thought it looked like some kind of insect, maybe, but he could never get a good look…

“Why are you staring at me?” Roman jumped at Logan’s voice, the object of his focus lowering the remote and turning to glare suspiciously, “I swear, if I have something on my face and you’re not telling me-”

“I’m just trying to get a better look at your tattoo!” Roman huffed, “Your shirt collar is always in the way.”

Snorting, Logan rolled his eyes, and moved to undo the top button, pulling the collar away and stretching his neck so Roman could get a clear view of what he now saw was a blackwork bee. The black ink contrasted with Logan’s pale skin, the tendon in his neck a smooth line down to his collarbone and Roman wanted nothing more than to run his fingers down it.

Roman blinked at the last thought.

_Um?_

Before he could think more on it, Logan started talking, “It’s a common honeybee. They’re important and don’t get nearly enough respect and if our dumbass species is gonna keep fucking them over I want to show my respect on my skin.”

Laughing, Roman shook his head fondly at Logan’s rant, “Why am I not surprised?” Logan smirked, and Roman took a moment to glance down at Logan’s arms, “So is this all that you have so far then?”

Logan scoffed, “Hell no. Hold on-“

Suddenly Logan was tossing his tie aside to unbutton the rest of his shirt and Roman felt his face heating up. Actually, his entire body felt a little warm as Logan let his shirt fall down to his elbows, allowing Roman an unobstructed view of the math equation tattooed across Logan’s chest.

Bright eyed and passionate, Logan started explaining, “So this equation, if you plot it on a graph, it makes the symbol for anarchy! See, the first line-“ he seamlessly fell into an in-depth explanation as to how the equation worked, hands gesturing excitedly and speaking faster as he went.

Roman had always found Logan’s enthusiasm endearing; while they may have been passionate about different things, their _level_ of passion was something that the two punks had in common. He never got tired of listening to the other boy rant and rave, aggressively giving people information they didn’t even ask for. But now Roman found himself distracted by the exposed planes of Logan’s body. The tattoo spanned across his sternum, and Roman’s eyes trailed down, noticing what looked like blackwork trees along his right ribs. On his other side was another tattoo, a stack of books going up, dipping with his waist and ending just below his ribs. His stomach held no tattoos, just smooth skin with a subtle hint of muscle that Roman wanted to feel.

Roman swallowed thickly.

_UM??_

“-and that finishes the circle around the A!” Logan concluded, adjusting his glasses as Roman snapped out of his daze.

“Only you could find a way to make anarchy nerdy,” Roman scoffed, smirking shakily as Logan huffed.

“Math is and always has been badass,” he insisted.

“Uh huh, whatever you say, specs,” Roman rolled his eyes, shifting in his seat, feeling vaguely uncomfortable and clearing his throat, “So, you’ve got math, science, space, literature…” Roman listed as he gestured at the different tattoos.

Logan nodded, “Yeah, I’m saving up for an art history tatt now. It’s based on this image that’s a parody of Magritte’s “The Treachery of Images”. I wanna get it on my upper back, like between my shoulder blades.”

“That sounds cool,” Roman consciously tried to keep his eyes from darting down to Logan’s still exposed chest, “Would that be your first back tattoo?”

“Nah, I have a tattoo of some chemicals on my lower back.”

“ _On your where now?_ ” Roman’s voice cracked, barely a whisper, but it was too late.

Logan had already turned, letting his shirt fall from his arms and onto the couch so that Roman could see the full expanse of his back. He could see Logan’s shoulder blades shifting beneath his skin, and the curve of his spine down, down, until his eyes landed on three chemical symbols inked just above the waistband of Logan’s jeans.

And it was doing _something_ to Roman.

“Okay, so the one on the right is serotonin, which is commonly associated with happiness or satisfaction-“

Completely oblivious to the struggle going on behind him, Logan rambled on about the meaning behind each chemical and their function in the brain. Meanwhile, Roman stared. And stared. Normally when Roman was taking in someone’s aesthetic, he would sweep his gaze up and down and then move on. But try as he might he couldn’t seem to tear his gaze away from the figure in front of him. His mouth was dry and when did it get so hot in here? It suddenly felt like he was wearing too many layers, and Logan was still ranting and Roman just wanted to listen to him talk and touch him and feel him and oh God what was happening-

“-and that’s why it tends to be associated with learning and memory because of its affect on-“

“Oh my God I’m not ace.”

The words were soft, but they stopped Logan in his tracks. His hands stuttered in their gesturing, as he took in exactly what his friend had just said. After a moment’s hesitation, Logan tentatively turned to glance over his shoulder.

“…Pardon?”

Looking back, Roman had both hands clasped over his mouth. His body looked tense, and his face was flushed as his wide, panicked eyes stared at Logan’s back. _Intently._

“Oh my _God I’M NOT ACE._ ”

Logan felt his face heat up, whipping his body back around so he could face Roman fully and hide his back. But his plan backfired as Roman’s eyes immediately widened even more and started drifting down Logan’s chest as the red head started rambling in panic.

“Oh my God, so many tv shows make sense now. I finally understand what people mean when they say they’d "tap that”. _This_ is what everyone was talking about when they called people “hot”??? I never got it before but now I dO OH MY GOD I’M FEELING A LOT RIGHT NOW.” Roman’s hands were flailing and he shifted uncomfortably. Logan very consciously did not look below Roman’s waist.

Swiftly crossing his arms and gripping his shoulders, Logan tried to cover his chest as his own eyes widened. This was definitely an unforeseen turn of events and he felt more than a little lost. Roman was clearly freaking out but so was he a little now and so he found himself blurting out, “Roman I understand you’re having a moment and I want to support you but it is very important to me that you _stop looking at me like that._ “

He wasn’t trying to be harsh, and he _definitely_ didn’t mean to make Roman burst into tears, slapping his hands over his eyes and crying, “Oh my God, I HAVE THE MALE GAZE!”

Logan sputtered, cursing at himself for somehow managing to make the situation worse. Frantically, he snatched his shirt up and threw it back on, not even bothering to make sure the buttons were in the right holes. Impulsively, he also grabbed Roman’s jacket from the back of the couch, wrapping it around himself as an extra shield.

A part of him burned with anger at Roman for making him feel this way. Logan wasn’t one to feel self-conscious, or embarrassed by his own body. Yet here he was, his face on fire and hiding beneath a too large jacket because he was suddenly hyper aware of his own skin. He almost wanted to snap at the other boy, but the feeling died quickly as he saw the tears escaping from beneath Roman’s hands.

Taking a deep breath, Logan made sure his next words were gentle, because he may be out of his comfort zone but he was going to _support his friend Goddammit_ , “Hey, Roman, it’s okay. I’m sorry I snapped, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

Roman shook his head frantically, hands remaining firmly over his eyes as he seemed to curl in on himself, “No, no, no, you don’t understand, they were _right_. Everyone was right!” his voice cracked, “I told people I was ace and they said I was faking, or confused, or just a late bloomer, and they were _right_. I’m not ace, I am very much feeling attraction to you right now.”

God, Logan wishes he hadn’t reminded him of that.

Pulling the jacket a little tighter around himself, Logan tried to focus on the rest of Roman’s rant, “They weren’t right, Roman.”

“Obviously they were, because my pants are very-“

“PLEASE, do not tell me what your body is doing right now!” Logan interrupted frantically, bringing his own hands up to cover his face that was probably as red as Roman’s hair by now.

Roman let out a loud groan of frustration and distress, and Logan sighed. He almost wanted to laugh at how ridiculous the situation was; two punks sitting across from each other, both covering their faces in embarrassment.

Sighing, Logan forced himself to put his hands down and ignore his own discomfort, “Roman. They _weren’t_ right,” He didn’t even know who “they” were, but that didn’t change his opinion. He saw Roman open his mouth to argue, but he cut him off before he had a chance, “I’m serious. You might be demi, or gray-ace or something, but even if you decide that you don’t feel like you’re anywhere on the ace spectrum now, you did _then_ , and anyone who gave you shit was wrong, and a dick, and deserves to have their teeth kicked in by me specifically.”

Roman giggled wetly, glancing at Logan through his fingers. Logan smiled softly, “I’m serious, Roman. Learning new things about yourself doesn’t make your past less valid. No matter who you grow to be, those people were still wrong.”

Finally, after one last shuddering breath, Roman wiped the tears from his face, letting his hands fall into his lap as he smiled softly, “O-okay. Okay,” he took another deep breath, “Thanks, Lo.”

“Of course,” Then, Logan smiled smugly, desperate to lighten the situation, “I love correcting you.”

Snickering, Roman felt himself relax. Looking over at Logan, he raised an eyebrow as he took in the sight of the nerdy punk wrapped in Roman’s steampunk coat, “Jacket a bit big on you?” he smirked.

The blush that had finally dissipated crept back into existence on Logan’s face, before he huffed and deadpanned, “Pants a bit small on you?”

Roman sputtered indignantly, “N-no, I’m fine now!”

Logan rolled his eyes, shrugging out of the coat and tossing it into Roman’s lap, “Uh huh, sure,” he gestured to his sloppily buttoned shirt, “Is this modest enough for you?” he said jokingly.

Pouting, Roman crossed his arms, but made no move to move the jacket, “… yes.”

Unable to keep a straight face, Logan burst out laughing, Roman joining him almost immediately. The absurdity of the day hit them, and soon they were both doubled over cackling.

“I just- I just wanted to show you a dumb cartoon! Not give you an identity crisis!” Logan sputtered out through his laughter.

“This is your fault for taking off your shirt!!”

“ _We were talking about tattoos!!!_ ”

“Wait, wait, wait,” still gasping with laughter, Roman pulled out his phone, “Patton needs to know we’re not killing each other for once.”

Wiping away the laughter-induced tears and still grinning, Logan allowed Roman to throw an arm around his shoulder and hold his arm out to take a selfie. Giggling madly, Roman sent the Snap to Patton and Virgil, with the caption, “Friends stick by you- even when things are #Hard.”


End file.
